Sometimes it's hard to remember everything He's done.
I don't say that lightly. But we've all been there. You look around you and all you can see is the negativity. Something a guest speaker at my church said a couple of weeks ago seems appropriate. He was talking about evangelism, and believing in the Lord even in the face of everything that comes up against us. And he made a point that I really could identify with.
We get confused, upset, and overwhelmed by our problems here on earth, because the only perspective we have is from right where we are. God, though, has the view from the throne. It's the difference between being a foot soldier, an archer, a cavalry soldier, and being the general. The general sees every skirmish, every battle from a strategic point of view. That's not to say he doesn't care about the casualties, but that he has a larger goal, and he's created tactics and strategies to reach that ultimate goal. But the foot soldiers, the men there on the field day in and day out, don't have that view. All they know is right there in front of them.
We're those soldiers. And we're surrounded by the strife and suffering, and it gets so overwhelming that all we want to do is collapse. I think sometimes as Christians we end up suffering from a sort of spiritual PSTD, where we begin to react to all non-Christians, and even those Christians we disagree with, in such a negative fashion that we isolate ourselves off from everyone. It's like we walk around in a fog of terror, not knowing who is right and who is wrong, and clinging to what little we know and understand because that's all we can do.
I know it's something I've done for a long time, in my own way.
A side effect of this, for me at least, has been that I can't see God unless He throws things in my face. It also means I tend to be that person who has a problem making a decision when I have it there in front of me. I want everything to be easy for me, and of course, that's not how it works.
Today I found out what it will take to go back to college. It's back to a four-year program, no matter how I look at it. It's frustrating, and discouraging. But things seem to be looking up, nonetheless. I should be able to get in for the fall semester. I might have an easy in on a job doing something I love. I still need to work on getting financial aid, and I can only pray that it will go well. And I'm wondering what it would take to get some other language training.
It's going to be a process. I didn't want a process. I wanted something to just... Work out. That was silly and irrational. But I'm learning.
I don't say that lightly. But we've all been there. You look around you and all you can see is the negativity. Something a guest speaker at my church said a couple of weeks ago seems appropriate. He was talking about evangelism, and believing in the Lord even in the face of everything that comes up against us. And he made a point that I really could identify with.
We get confused, upset, and overwhelmed by our problems here on earth, because the only perspective we have is from right where we are. God, though, has the view from the throne. It's the difference between being a foot soldier, an archer, a cavalry soldier, and being the general. The general sees every skirmish, every battle from a strategic point of view. That's not to say he doesn't care about the casualties, but that he has a larger goal, and he's created tactics and strategies to reach that ultimate goal. But the foot soldiers, the men there on the field day in and day out, don't have that view. All they know is right there in front of them.
We're those soldiers. And we're surrounded by the strife and suffering, and it gets so overwhelming that all we want to do is collapse. I think sometimes as Christians we end up suffering from a sort of spiritual PSTD, where we begin to react to all non-Christians, and even those Christians we disagree with, in such a negative fashion that we isolate ourselves off from everyone. It's like we walk around in a fog of terror, not knowing who is right and who is wrong, and clinging to what little we know and understand because that's all we can do.
I know it's something I've done for a long time, in my own way.
A side effect of this, for me at least, has been that I can't see God unless He throws things in my face. It also means I tend to be that person who has a problem making a decision when I have it there in front of me. I want everything to be easy for me, and of course, that's not how it works.
Today I found out what it will take to go back to college. It's back to a four-year program, no matter how I look at it. It's frustrating, and discouraging. But things seem to be looking up, nonetheless. I should be able to get in for the fall semester. I might have an easy in on a job doing something I love. I still need to work on getting financial aid, and I can only pray that it will go well. And I'm wondering what it would take to get some other language training.
It's going to be a process. I didn't want a process. I wanted something to just... Work out. That was silly and irrational. But I'm learning.
"This is what the kingdom of God is like. A man scatters seed on the ground. Night and day, whether he sleeps or gets up, the seed sprouts and grows, though he does not know how. All by itself the soil produces grain--first the stalk, then the head, the the full kernel in the head. As soon as the grain is ripe, he puts the sickle to it, because the harvest has come." Mark 4:26-29
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