Dear Lord: I need to get out

Today was spent inside.

All of it.

A downside of being unemployed is that you have no reason to leave the house, and no money with which to go out. So to conserve money, you stay inside.

I was hoping to get a phone call from the people I interviewed with. I didn't get one. I'm concerned. My mother is pressuring me, even though she doesn't mean to, and it's messing with my head.

Praise God, because He's strong enough to deal with this for me.

"Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, 'The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.'" Lamentations 3:23-24

Dear Lord: This looks promising

I had my second interview with the same company today.

The interview lasted two hours. It was at a group home. I didn't get to meet the residents, but I did get to see the home, and talk to the supervisor. I think it went really well, all in all!

I know God was with me, and I'm sure He'll see me through this.

The rest of the day was rather uneventful. I need to get out of the house soon. I'm going to start getting claustrophobic. Unfortunately, due to an incident late last week, I'm no longer completely confident in the safety of my neighborhood. But I can't stay inside all week, either.

"Death is naked before God; Destruction lies uncovered. He spreads out the northern skies over empty space; he suspends the earth over nothing. He wraps up the waters in his clouds, yet the clouds do not burst under their weight. He covers the face of the full moon, spreading his clouds over it. He marks out the horizon on the face of the waters for a boundary between light and darkness. The pillars of the heavens quake, aghast at his rebuke. By his power he churned up the sea; by his wisdom he cut Rahab to pieces. By his breath the skies became fair; his hand pierced the gliding serpent. And these are but the outer fringe of his works; how faint the whisper we hear of him! Who then can understand the thunder of his power?" Job 26:6-14

Dear Lord: I stand in awe of You

God truly has a plan for us all.

I got some encouragement today. A friend's husband has been searching for a job as well. He's having similar issues with unemployment compensation. In his case, he had the compensation granted, but the company appealed and he lost it. Unfortunately, just like I can make an appeal on my unemployment, the company that gets rid of employees can as well. It's fair, but frustrating.

This man, like me, has been praying hard about it. He and my friend (Mr. and Mrs. HT, from now on) have two small children, and they are taking care of his mother as well. Mrs. HT has a disability that keeps her from working most jobs, which means she can't get a job to help supplement right now. Instead, she stays home, homeschooling the children, taking care of the house, and caring for her mother-in-law.

Today, she called me. Praise God! Mr. HT has gotten a job! This is a huge encouragement to me, because he got a job in the same company I applied and interviewed at. I'm interviewing at a different location, but I'm praying that it works out for me.

God also used my small group tonight to remind me that my problems are not the only thing to focus on. One of the men in my group, F, has been diagnosed with a serious illness, as has his daughter. We prayed around him tonight, placing hands on him. It was a very serious, very emotional moment, and I'm happy that we did it. I have faith that the Lord will do what is best in this situation.

There are so many things to be thankful for, even in this time of need. My grandmother's recovery. A church that supports me and friends that care for me. A college that supports the degrees I want. Jobs that are coming to those around me. Good health. Food on my table and a roof over my head. A pastor that truly cares about me and the rest of his congregation. And, above all, a God that will never leave me, nor forsake me. It's when I'm at my lowest that I know He's the closest. Amen, Lord. Amen.

"In that day you will no longer ask me anything. I tell you the truth, my Father will give you whatever you ask in my name. Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete." John 16:23-24

Dear Lord: Praise be!

I got a callback today.

I have a second interview on Wednesday for the place I interviewed at last week! I'm hopeful. The Lord will do what is best for me, of that I am sure.

The Lord used my grandmother to remind me of the day I was baptized. It was a brutal, rather painful reminder of how faithful I used to be, compared to now. It was nice, in a way. I have some memories that have subtly shifted, until I was no longer sure as to why I had been so insistent on getting baptized when I did. But my grandmother had written a letter, which she had saved, and reading it to me, I remembered what I had believed and why. It helped me to be able to shift through the falsehoods and lies, until I had the truth.

The mind is a tricky thing, and I think Satan, though unable to read our minds, still knows what to put in front of us to cause us to doubt ourselves. I had fallen into that trap. It was nice to know that I wasn't correct.

But it's hard, when you realize that you were so very very firm at one point, and now it seems like all you do is question yourself.

Praise God, that I can't do anything on my own. Because this way, I know I need Him, and I know He'll be there for me.

"Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked I will depart. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised." Job 1:21

Dear Lord: He is Risen!

In the hustle and bustle of our days, it's hard to remember sometimes what it's really all about.

I went to visit my family for Easter. My family and I do not always get along, and I was prepared for some things that my mother had warned me she wanted to talk about.

Thankfully, the conversation was avoided, though I did make the offer. It's time my mother let me grow up, and that's something I'm going to have to make an effort to make sure she knows.

But praise God, that He sent His Son. My family and I had a wonderful time celebrating Easter together. I also was able to speak with my grandmother, and she gave me a lot of encouragement I wasn't expecting from her. It's just another reminder that God is very busily taking care of me, and it's more of an encouragement than anything else could be.

Praise God! He is Risen! And because He lives, I live!

"For God so love the world, He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him might not perish, but have everlasting life." John 3:16

"Why do you look for the living among the dead? He is not here; he has risen!" Luke 24:5-6

"'Don't be alarmed,' he said. 'You are looking for Jesus the Nazarene, who was crucified. He has risen! He is not here.'" Mark 16:6

"Do not be afraid, for I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified. He is not here; he has risen, just as he said." Matthew 28:5-6

"These things happened so that the scripture would be fulfilled: 'Not one of his bones will be broken,' and, as another scripture says, 'They will look on the one they have pierced.'" Luke 19:36-37

Dear Lord: A prayer

Lord, I need you now.

I'm going home to visit my parents.

I need your strength, your confidence, and your wisdom.

I need the grace to respect and honor my parents, even as we disagree.

I need the strength to show them who I am and what I want.

I need the knowledge to be able to counter their arguments.

I need the patience to deal with my parents and their preconceptions about what and who I should be.

Thank you Lord, for being with me. Whatever happens this weekend, I pray that it is your will and your wisdom that guides it.

"Defend the poor and fatherless; do justice to the afflicted and needy. Deliver the poor and the needy; free them from the hand of the wicked." Psalm 82:3-4

Dear Lord: It's been a day

I spent a lot of time in the Bible today.

I have decided to go ahead and at least look into finding a lawyer to help me fight my unemployment appeal. No harm in trying. Ultimately, though, I just need to find a job. Which I'm working on, absolutely.

I did a lot of research on Moses today. It was fascinating, actually. I mean, we all know the main story. But the first few chapters, the stuff before he was all Charleton-Heston-Awesome... That's what I really find interesting. Exodus 1-5 is full of things I'd never thought about before.

I feel like I can really relate to Moses sometimes. We don't know what his relationship with his adoptive family was, but he was well aware that he was a Hebrew. Also, his adoptive father tried to kill him. It stands to reason that his relationship was, perhaps, not the best. On the other hand, I've always heard that Moses wrote Exodus. Yes, it was God-inspired, but you can't tell me that each writer's styles and prejudices don't shine through at times. It's possible that Moses truly, honestly believed that his adoptive grandfather tried to kill him, and was never able to get the real story because he ran away. Either way, he obviously never really fit in with the royal family that well, nor with the Hebrews.

We all know Moses had a temper problem. You can't kill a man and not have a bit of a temper problem. He wanted to save people, obviously, but he went about it all the wrong way. He truly loved his people, but they just made him so angry. We see examples of it throughout his time as judge. But it's interesting to see the immaturity inherent in this first recorded temper outburst. You have to wonder... Had his education included the Hebrew faith? Later, he asks for a name to give the Israelites. Though Hebrew, did he know anything about that culture or religion?

I've always wondered... If Moses hadn't killed that Egyptian, how would history have differed? I don't believe in predestination, and God does not tempt people. If the whole goal was for Moses to get adopted, kill a man, and then run off to the desert, why was it Pharaoh's daughter who picked him out of the river? Why not an Egyptian commoner who had recently lost a child and would be willing to adopt a Hebrew child to ease her broken heart? Why did God place Moses in such a place of authority, and what would He have done with Moses if Moses hadn't lost his temper?

I know some theorists talk about how he had a stutter, and that was why he didn't want to talk to Pharaoh. I wonder if it wasn't something a little more basic. He'd run away. He'd probably spoken a different language in Egypt, and he was out of practice. I don't know. I do know that I can read that line and totally relate. I don't quite stutter, but I do have a tendency to repeat things in funny ways without meaning to, particularly when I'm nervous or excited. Speaking to Pharaoh would surely be both exciting and nerve-wracking. Maybe Moses just wasn't confident in the language. Or was scared.

It's interesting to theorize. I'm only really going in-depth on the first five chapters, and I've only gotten through the first three so far, just writing down questions. I don't know what I'll do with what I find. But I'm fascinated by what I'm learning, and what I'm thinking about.

In other news, I just got back inside after dealing with the police. I had thought this was a fairly safe neighborhood, but I just spotted a man outside my window and he was... Er. Having a good time. To use a euphemism. I hope the police catch him, and he gets some help. And I think I need to move.

"I have seen the burden God has laid on men. He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end." Ecclesiastes 3:10-11

"Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens." Psalm 68:19

"He established it as a statute for Joseph when he went out against Egypt, where we heard a language we did not understand. He says, 'I removed the burden from their shoulders; their hands were set free from the basket. In your distress you called and I rescued you, I answered you out of a thundercloud.'" Psalm 81:5-7

"Yet it was our weaknesses He carried; it was our sorrows that weighed Him down. And we thought His troubles were a punishment from God for His own sins!" Isaiah 53:4

Dear Lord: Is China right?

Several doors have opened for me.

I just feel like the price is so very high.

I'm coming to rely on the Lord more and more through this. I really am. It's amazing how much you come to know about God when you have nothing to do but read the Bible. I feel like my time up to now has been much like the Casting Crowns song American Dream, in that I've spent the years between high school and now really pursuing the things I thought I was supposed to, the things that I'd been told to do. I put blinders on and just focused on getting through to the next obstacle.

I've learned a lot from that. I can look back and say that God was with me the whole time, but I wasn't always bothering to pay any attention to Him. And that's sad.

When I was a kid, I had all sorts of amazing and extravagant plans. I was going to learn American Sign Language and Braille, and I was going to open a Christian school/church/library that worked with families to accept families who didn't necessarily have the means to afford the fancy private schools. Even just a single Braille book is phenomenally expensive. I wanted to have a way to provide an education and books and materials to the blind and the deaf and the disabled, so that they could be part of the community. I also wanted to be a missionary, and go to China. I thought it would be amazing to be a part of something so great.

Once I got older, I kind of left these dreams behind, not knowing how I would even begin to fulfill them.

Now, I'm looking at them again. Not in an extravagant, immediate way, but in a "Why did I ever forget about those?" way. I don't think I could open a school. But I can learn American Sign Language. I can learn Braille (as well as any seeing person can, anyway). I've always loved ASL anyway. I've applied at a local college for entry into their ASL/English Interpreting program. In my research, I discovered that the college also offers a Minor in Chinese.

Everywhere I've looked recently, there's been something about going overseas to China, both for missionary work and for teaching English. I think I would like to. I feel good about this decision. It's a decision to learn ASL, certainly, but also to learn Chinese, and then to go where I think the Lord is leading me. And I want to go where He leads.

But I'm so weak, and so scared. Audio Adrenaline put it best in Hands And Feet, when they sang:

"I am willing yet I'm so afraid
You give me strength."

I'm still afraid. But, like Michael W. Smith in Missing Person, I feel like I've lost the wonderment and belief I had when I was a child, and I want that back. So, I want the courage to make this decision, and to not run away because it would be easier. Lord, I want to be David, not Jonah.

"Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it." Luke 18:16-17

"When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known." 1 Corinthians 13:11-12

Dear Lord: Help me not worry

I had an interview today!

It was scary, but I'm hopeful. I feel I did a good job, and made a good impression, and I can only hope that it was enough. They did insist on getting a recommendation from my previous employer, and I did my best to point them towards someone who will do right by me. But that is a matter of prayer.

Lord, You know how much I need a job. Thank you for the opportunity You've given me with this interview. Please, please let it work out.

"What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare His own Son, but gave Him up for us all--how will He not also, along with Him, graciously give us all things?" Romans 8:31-32

Dear Lord: I will follow

I had a bit of a breakdown.

I will never deny that I made mistakes. But largely, I was let go because I was an easy target. I was quiet, somewhat shy, and I kept to myself. Why? In the area I live in, there is very little to do besides go out and drink, particularly if you have a job where you will be expected to work overtime at the drop of a hat. I don't have any major issue with drinking in moderation but you do not go to a bar to drink in moderation or meet people who do. Therefore, I keep to myself, and let the drinkers have their fun.

But being the loner means you're an easier target than someone with a lot of friends.

I try to be a good daughter, and I have kept my parents up-to-date as to what is going on. Understandably, my parents are quite concerned about the lack of unemployment. My mother is insisting that, when I come down to visit this weekend (it is Easter, after all), she and I will have a heart-to-heart. She feels that there are a great many things in my life that need to change, and if they do not, I may no longer have a relationship with my family.

Unfortunately, while I admit that I have faults, I don't believe that I can be the woman my mother wants me to be. So now, I'm afraid my choices may come down to following the path I believe the Lord to be sending me down and possibly losing my family, or trying to conform to what my mother expects, and losing all ability to be myself.

It's a rough choice. It's an impossible choice. But it's something that, deep down, has been several years in the making. If I'm going to move forward, I'm going to have to step away from my family. And if doing that means I have to break ties for a time, then I will pray hard but I will do it.

I spent a lot of time discussing it with Mrs. Pastor. For the first time in my life, I learned that you can be a respectful daughter who honors your parents, and yet still disagree with them and strike off your own direction, heedless of their advice. It... Is freeing. But the concept is no less terrifying. I have lived on my own for several years now, so it is not that my parents have any financial responsibility for me, but simply that they are family.

It is not a decision to be made lightly.

I went to my Small Group tonight, as well. Pastor knows one of the higher-ups in my old company, and offered to talk with him in an attempt to get my job back. I declined. Even if the job had been something I had truly loved, I could never work for the man who fired me. I was also able to talk with someone who has also been through the unemployment process. He suggested finding a lawyer who would only take money from me if I won. I'm thinking about this.

Finally, should something happen over Easter Weekend, I have an alternative. Two, actually. If I have to leave Saturday, I will go to Mr. and Mrs. Missionary's house after Easter service on Sunday. If I have to leave Sunday, I will go to another person's house, as the hostess does not mind unexpected guests.

It is not what I would wish. But it is the reality.

"Now when Daniel learned that the decree had been published, he went home to his upstairs room where the windows opened toward Jerusalem. Three times a day he got down on his knees and prayed, giving thanks to his God, just as he had done before." Daniel 6:10

Dear Lord: I can't see the light

I'm stuck in a tunnel right now, and I can't see any way out.

I've been denied unemployment. I can appeal it. Unfortunately, they picked the one thing I can't deny happened, and used that. It happened. I know it did. I know it was a mistake. I just didn't realize it was bad enough to cost me so much.

I don't have the money to pay legal fees.

On top of that, a doctor in the hospital my grandmother was in went into her room and messed with her medication. He wasn't her attending doctor or anyone who should have been messing with her medication at all. It was caught before she died, but it was a near thing. Satan is angry, and attempting to do away with my grandmother.

I'm listening to a lot of K-Love, which is a Christian radio station. It's one of the things that is keeping me going. The Tunnel by Third Day has come on several times, and it's an amazing song and an amazing inspiration.

Lord, I can't do this on my own. Everything I could have relied on besides You is falling out from under me. Give me strength. Give me courage. Don't leave me in this time of need. You promised You would never leave nor forsake Your children. Dear Lord, I need you now.

"And the Lord said to Satan, 'Where have you come from?' Satan answered the Lord, 'From roaming through the earth and going back and forth in it.'" Job 2:2

"Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?" Job 2:10

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." James 1:2-4

"Be merciful to me, O Lord, for I am faint; O Lord, heal me, for my bones are in agony. My soul is in anguish. How long, O Lord, how long? Turn, O Lord, and deliver me; save me because of your unfailing love. No one remembers you when he is dead. Who praises you from the grave?" Psalm 6:2-5

Dear Lord: Praise God!!

No, I don't have a job yet.

But my grandmother has been healed. I know, I know, that sounds silly. But bear with me.

She's had a chronic lung disease for years now. Monday, she went into the hospital because she'd been coughing up things. She's been on oxygen for three years. And when she got to the hospital, she was diagnosed with E. Coli in her lungs, and the early stages of pneumonia.

Our family was preparing for the worst.

I called her today. She's healed. She has nothing in her lungs. They're taking her off of the oxygen, except at night. It's a miracle!

And now, she says her hospital room is like a bus stop. Everyone in the hospital is stunned, no one knows what to make of it, and they all want to hear her story from her.

Praise God! Praise God! Praise God!

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6

Dear Lord: Sometimes we forget

It's nearly Easter.

For Christians, this is one of the major, vitally important holidays. It's something that we forget in the hustle and bustle of our lives, and we shouldn't.

I went to see an Easter play tonight. It was amazing. It was inspiring. And when the call for new believers came at the end, I think a hundred people went to the front. Praise God!

"For God so loved the world He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him might not perish, but have everlasting life." John 3:16

Dear Lord: Unemployment involves so much

For the record, unemployment is complicated.

Most of us don't consider unemployment until we need it. Unemployment compensation carries with it a certain level of shame in America. Of course you'll be out there working. That's the American dream, after all, to be out in the world working and earning money for yourself. Of course, it isn't that easy right now.

So, in case anyone needs to know, I'll sketch out some basic details about how Unemployment Compensation works in the state I live in. I'm sure it varies from state to state, but hopefully it will give people a good starting point.

Every state is going to have a website. I had to Google for mine. It falls under my state's Labor and Industry Department, though that might not be true of every state. Within that website will be something about unemployment. From there, it's just a matter of red tape. Basically, you file a claim. It has to get through a lot of people. I know that for my state, if I'd been laid off, I'd have been able to skip a step. Since I was officially fired, I had to fill out a paper that acknowledged that I knew the reasons my employer had given for firing me, and then giving my side of the story.

From there, it's up in the air. The department has to go through their evidence and documents from both me and my employer and decide what to do. Assuming I qualify, I have to file every other week for unemployment, and make sure that I document every extra bit of income that comes in.

I don't have to put in a certain amount of applications every week to retain my unemployment. Which is good, because I can focus on getting quality jobs then. I get something like 80% of my regular income, and I can work a part-time job to make a certain extra percentage above that. If I make more though, it'll be taken out of my check. I only get a certain amount total, but I'm hoping to have a job long before that runs out.

It's a little more complicated than this, and there are certain requirements you have to meet before they'll even consider giving you unemployment. But as terrifying as it was at first to deal with this, I think it's almost more the fear of not knowing what you're getting into, than anything really worth fearing.

"The God of heaven will give us success. We His servants will start rebuilding." Nehemiah 2:20

Dear Lord: Regarding productivity...

Yesterday I was productive.

Today I was much less so. The rain didn't help. I don't drive in torrential rain or thunderstorms unless absolutely necessary. It's not that thunder scares me, but that I feel no need to risk injury in that kind of weather. Lightning isn't the only danger. Frankly, until I know I've got health insurance again, I'd prefer to avoid any negative circumstances.

I'm frustrated with my family. They're concerned, and I understand. I'm concerned. I'm worried sick, to be honest. But I visited them yesterday, and I was hoping that we could discuss something besides my dismal failure at finding a job. It's not that I don't understand their concerns. I do. I just... I need a break from the tension and the worry and the fear that surrounds me. Otherwise, I'll curl into a ball and sob.

I did my best to assuage my parents' fears, and tried to avoid them when it got to be too much. So today, I did some online things that needed doing. I'm amazed at how many jobs you can apply for online. I managed to find out what I needed to know for my local tax return.

I also talked to a couple of fellow Christians who are currently unemployed. What amazes me is how quickly things seem to have fallen into place for me. It's not been easy, and I don't have a job yet. But two weeks out, and I have a plan and a goal outside of "Hope a job comes up."

So thank you Lord, and give me patience to keep positive with my family.

"Praise the Lord. Sing to the Lord a new song, His praise in the assembly of the saints. Let Israel rejoice in their Maker; let the people of Zion be glad in their King. Let them praise His name with dancing and make music to Him with tambourine and harp. For the Lord takes delight in His people; He crowns the humble with salvation." Psalm 149:1-4

Dear Lord: I'm still here

Sometimes it's easy to forget that I'm not simply a sum of my accomplishments and failures.

I look around me, and I see things about me that bother me, that concern me, that confuse me. Issues with the way my mind works. Issues with my body. Issues with my self-confidence. And it's easy to listen to that voice that picks up all the things my boss said to me, and amplifies them.

This is the first time I've ever been fired. I work hard. Like a great many Americans, I have a good work ethic and I do my best to make sure I'm successful. And sometimes that's just not enough.

But that's okay, because I have a God that protects and guides me, even through the storm. I'm watching the news, and listening as they talk about how unemployment is rising again. And it's scary. But I can't worry about that, because if I do, I'll get overwhelmed by it all, and I'll end up having an anxiety attack. All I can do is trust that God will see me through it all.

Today I ran around the University campus, getting signatures and putting all my ducks in a row. There's no guarantee, but it looks like I'll be accepted into the University for the fall semester. This seems to be working out, and amazingly fast. Next step: Get financial aid.

"Do not say, 'Why were the old days better than these?' For it is not wise to ask such questions." Ecclesiastes 7:10

Dear Lord: Thank you.

Sometimes it's hard to remember everything He's done.

I don't say that lightly. But we've all been there. You look around you and all you can see is the negativity. Something a guest speaker at my church said a couple of weeks ago seems appropriate. He was talking about evangelism, and believing in the Lord even in the face of everything that comes up against us. And he made a point that I really could identify with.

We get confused, upset, and overwhelmed by our problems here on earth, because the only perspective we have is from right where we are. God, though, has the view from the throne. It's the difference between being a foot soldier, an archer, a cavalry soldier, and being the general. The general sees every skirmish, every battle from a strategic point of view. That's not to say he doesn't care about the casualties, but that he has a larger goal, and he's created tactics and strategies to reach that ultimate goal. But the foot soldiers, the men there on the field day in and day out, don't have that view. All they know is right there in front of them.

We're those soldiers. And we're surrounded by the strife and suffering, and it gets so overwhelming that all we want to do is collapse. I think sometimes as Christians we end up suffering from a sort of spiritual PSTD, where we begin to react to all non-Christians, and even those Christians we disagree with, in such a negative fashion that we isolate ourselves off from everyone. It's like we walk around in a fog of terror, not knowing who is right and who is wrong, and clinging to what little we know and understand because that's all we can do.

I know it's something I've done for a long time, in my own way.

A side effect of this, for me at least, has been that I can't see God unless He throws things in my face. It also means I tend to be that person who has a problem making a decision when I have it there in front of me. I want everything to be easy for me, and of course, that's not how it works.

Today I found out what it will take to go back to college. It's back to a four-year program, no matter how I look at it. It's frustrating, and discouraging. But things seem to be looking up, nonetheless. I should be able to get in for the fall semester. I might have an easy in on a job doing something I love. I still need to work on getting financial aid, and I can only pray that it will go well. And I'm wondering what it would take to get some other language training.

It's going to be a process. I didn't want a process. I wanted something to just... Work out. That was silly and irrational. But I'm learning.

"This is what the kingdom of God is like. A man scatters seed on the ground. Night and day, whether he sleeps or gets up, the seed sprouts and grows, though he does not know how. All by itself the soil produces grain--first the stalk, then the head, the the full kernel in the head. As soon as the grain is ripe, he puts the sickle to it, because the harvest has come." Mark 4:26-29