I started out this morning amazingly positive.
As of yesterday, I had some amazing options, and I was really looking forward to things. A woman from Small Group had a possible part-time job for me that she was going to call me about. I had options laid out in front of me and I only had to do the research to figure out how to do them.
I had an appointment with my insurance agent. I've gone almost two years without Renter's Insurance, and being jobless means I was more concerned about this than I had been before. We also rearranged things so that I have some health insurance, anyway, at least in case I'm in a car accident. And then I found out that she knows how to get a Teaching English as a Second Language license. In fact, she paused our meeting so that she could make a phone call to a local college to get information for me. It was amazing!
And then I got home and started doing some research. Now, when I first started college, I went into Early Childhood Education. I didn't actually want to teach small children. What I wanted to do was teach young adults and adults with disabilities. But ECE was required for that, which confused me but I tried anyway. I nearly failed out, and ended up transferring out to a different degree altogether.
Now, don't get me wrong. I like kids. But more than three little ones, and I'm overwhelmed. Being a Christian woman doesn't mean I'm cut out for dealing with a classroom of 3 and 4-year olds.
And now I'm discovering that, to get the TESL/TEFL license I need to teach English overseas, I need to have a normal teaching license. To get a teaching license, I need to have a BA in Early Childhood Education.
And Sign Language will require me to move back close to my parents, away from my church, into Alcohol Central, and spend two years there.
I'm just... feeling so discouraged now. Everything I thought I could do is shutting down in my face, and I don't know how to fix it. What now, God? I can't do this alone.
As of yesterday, I had some amazing options, and I was really looking forward to things. A woman from Small Group had a possible part-time job for me that she was going to call me about. I had options laid out in front of me and I only had to do the research to figure out how to do them.
I had an appointment with my insurance agent. I've gone almost two years without Renter's Insurance, and being jobless means I was more concerned about this than I had been before. We also rearranged things so that I have some health insurance, anyway, at least in case I'm in a car accident. And then I found out that she knows how to get a Teaching English as a Second Language license. In fact, she paused our meeting so that she could make a phone call to a local college to get information for me. It was amazing!
And then I got home and started doing some research. Now, when I first started college, I went into Early Childhood Education. I didn't actually want to teach small children. What I wanted to do was teach young adults and adults with disabilities. But ECE was required for that, which confused me but I tried anyway. I nearly failed out, and ended up transferring out to a different degree altogether.
Now, don't get me wrong. I like kids. But more than three little ones, and I'm overwhelmed. Being a Christian woman doesn't mean I'm cut out for dealing with a classroom of 3 and 4-year olds.
And now I'm discovering that, to get the TESL/TEFL license I need to teach English overseas, I need to have a normal teaching license. To get a teaching license, I need to have a BA in Early Childhood Education.
And Sign Language will require me to move back close to my parents, away from my church, into Alcohol Central, and spend two years there.
I'm just... feeling so discouraged now. Everything I thought I could do is shutting down in my face, and I don't know how to fix it. What now, God? I can't do this alone.
"Even today my complaint is bitter; His hand is heavy in spite of my groaning. If only I knew where to find Him; if only I could go to His dwelling! I would state my case before Him and fill my mouth with arguments. I would find out what He would answer me, and consider what He would say. Would He oppose me with great power? No, He would not press charges against me. There an upright man could present his case before Him, and I would be delivered forever from my judge." Job 23:2-7
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